Facilitator Talk N1: To be or not to be: Path to (Un)Shyness by Daniel Chong

December 15, 2023

Daniel Chong

This series is dedicated to past Global Leadership Training Program(GLTP) facilitators to share part of their Leadership journey and how joining GLTP helped them in their own leadership path

To be or not to be: Path to (Un)Shyness

The words are still ringing in my mind. ‘Is your son dumb?’. Those words coming out from the mouth of the ophthalmologist after putting up so much effort in conducting my eye check stung my mom very hard. She’s a very proud person and a perfectionist in all aspects (she is amongst those mothers who would always say ‘why did you not achieve 100% in your exams’. I’ve already achieved 97% in my exams, a freakin 97% and still being scolded!!!) and wouldn’t take any belittling words too kindly. I was too shy to respond to the doctor’s questions or tests. I couldn’t even bring my mouth to spew anything at all. That’s when my mom and dad decided to do something about my shyness. I was 7 by the way.

Every Wednesday, after my mom picked me up from school, she would force me to go to the bank to request for an update to her bankbook or passbook. Whichever it is, I think the majority of you Gen Zs would not know what a bankbook is, insert own laughter. The thought of every Wednesday coming, makes the butterfly in my stomach fly using a jet engine with Mach 10 speed. My dad even enrolled me into a drama class, yes a drama class. I could have become the Malaysian Hugh Jackman. To be honest, I fit in quite well in that class and never had any hesitation participating in its activities (after being bribed with Roti Canai and military comic books that is).

Then the dreaded day came. My dad passed on to a place better. Being brought up in a single parent household is not for the faint hearted and kids tend to grow up faster as we had to be more independent to survive. I was fortunate as my parents sowed a strong identity within me. I knew what I wanted to be, I knew how I should act as a gentleman and I knew what I need to do. And being shy is something I should get rid of. It’ll certainly get in the way of what I wanted to achieve.

Do you remember about the military comic books that my father used to ‘bribe’ me into going to the drama classes? Well, it’s because I really am engrossed in all things military! I wanted to be an army general, I wanted to enroll into Sandhurst Military Academy (a prominent British military establishment) and I wanted to wear all those fancy smart uniforms. How are you going to give orders and gain respect from your subordinates if you are being seen as incompetent due to your inability to communicate your orders effectively due to your shyness? Being a soldier inherently makes you someone to speak in a clear and concise way.

In high school, I enrolled in the cadet corps. Kinda like my 1st step to achieve my ambition to become a general. I liked the uniform, I liked the activities and I certainly like to march on the parade ground. In my 1st year of high school I was already called ‘Sergeant’ or a shortened version of it ‘Gent’ (still being called this till now) due to my enthusiastic approach to all the activities and especially because of the smartness I portrayed on the parade ground. As context, the rank of Sergeant is usually seen as the backbone of the military or in this case the cadet establishment, being seen as the one of the most experienced and smartest of the cadets. It is also one of the ranks within the non-commissioned officer ranks in charge of recruits or cadets. I was promoted up to the rank of 1st Warrant Officer by the end of my high school, which is the highest rank a cadet could achieve.

My first attempt to become a full fledged army officer came after graduating high school. I submitted my application to enroll into the prestigious National Defence University. I even missed my high school high achievers award ceremony to attend the tryouts. My mom had to receive the award in my stead. Lo and behold, I was kicked out from the tryouts on the very 1st day. Was I sad or felt dejected? Actually, I kinda anticipated that. Was it shyness? Nope, you remember about the eye test that I had in the 1st paragraph? Yes, it was due to bad eyesight. I failed in trying, not because I was too shy to try. I felt accomplished on that day from my failure but I had to find a new career path soon.

I was always fascinated in problem solving and I eventually enrolled in a prestigious university with a reputable Accounting school and yes I ended up becoming an accountant. Not to be disheartened by the failure of not enrolling into the National Defence University, I enrolled into the Reserve Officer Training Unit (ROTU) or known in other countries as Reserve Officers’ Training Corps (ROTC) and successfully passed out as a Leftenant (Lieutenant in other countries) into the Territorials/ Reserve unit commanding a platoon of men & women who dines, sweats and shares memories with you. My time during this training course deserves an entry of its own and hopefully I could share it with you one day.

Fast forward, after 4 years of working, I got to know about the Ship for Southeast Asian and Japanese Youth Program (SSEAYP), this is where I first met Zenn and Tomoo for the 1st time, 1st becoming a foster family and the year after I participated in the program itself. Without having any thoughts of being in any leading role in the contingent, I was chosen to become the Youth Leader (YL), leading the Malaysian participating youths heading towards Japan. My days of extreme shyness seem to be so left behind. I even managed to confess my feelings to a Japanese girl in Japanese!!! (Honestly, I was trembling with extreme fear instead of shyness at that time) Well, that story is for another day folks.

Now, I have a full-time job as an accountant in a Multinational Company (MNC), a Finance Director of my own company and an Army Officer. Do I still feel shy? Yes, certainly I do! You would ask, ‘Even after all that you have achieved?’ My reply, a big YESSSSS!!!! Shyness does have its advantages. Even in Islam, shyness or modesty is a part of the faith. Being shy or modest will discourage us from committing sins, bad and embarrassing things. If I am shy, I wouldn’t be fighting without reason with someone, if I am shy, I wouldn’t be a peeping tom and if I am shy I wouldn’t be spouting foul words to others. It’s just that we need to understand when to become or not become shy in all our daily interactions and make good use of the feeling.

P/S: Actually I do still have that extreme shyness, sometimes I would ask my brother to talk to someone instead of me. That’s why, I joined the Global Leadership Training Program (GLTP) to enhance my leadership capabilities and certainly how to interact and communicate effectively with others.

See ya next time!

Bereh boh!

Daniel Choong